top 2 tuesday! i'm back on track!!

SORRY for the flood of posts. but i'm totally rockin' the blogosphere these days.
 

go link up!

the top two things i have learned about relationships: 

1. it is all about give and take, and i ain't talkin' no 50/50, either. that was not really that hard to grasp, except that i hardly ever expected anyone to give. i was stuck with a bunch of losers that loved to take. until i found my sweet love, sergeant j. we've come to the conclusion that things go best when he puts me and my needs/desires before his own and when i do the same. not sometimes, all the time. and it only works when both people do it. which requires a ton of trust that takes some time to build because who wants to be that vulnerable? putting someone ahead of yourself ALL the time? but it works. and along with this is COMPROMISE! when it's not possible to come outside of yourself, you treat the other person with grace and compassion rather than hostility.

2. communicate. seems so simple. i recommend reading the companion books for men and women only. i was so surprised to read what i already knew: men and women REALLY do think differently. i mean, literally, the science of the thought process is completely different! once we decided to try and communicate our feelings (and earnestly listen, remembering the principles we learned in our pre-marital counseling and those books), things changed. i am hardly ever mad at the sarge. of course, sometime he irritates me.. but we haven't had more than a few "fights" since we've been married. instead of getting ticked off about his messy drawer, i just tell him that i feel unappreciated when i fold and organize his clothes and he throws them around. and you know what.... he started doing intentionally doing better! crazy concept. 

and here's a bonus: never do anything without the other's support. it's just easier that way :)