silence! (almost)

i don't know how many of the people who read this blog have ever gone through pledging.  in summary, though, you are basically brought to a place of functioning on little to no rest.  this was the experience i and my pledge sisters had anyway.  when you are not rested, even the slightest conflict becomes a life-threatening, knock-down-drag-out situation.  just observe small children around 8 or 9 p.m. when they haven't had a nap that day.  it's hard to function without crying!  you learn that you can't cry every time you feel overwhelmed though, and you eventually learn to survive entire days, weeks, or months without a nap.  and then you pledge and it's like being five all over again - some people even resort to tantrums!  (i didn't know anyone like that of course.)

well, when i was pledging (our "official" pledge period was one week, saturday through the following sunday), i made it through about wednesday without having any real meltdown experiences.  but thursday was particularly tough.  one of my christian studies professors asked our mid-afternoon class, "who's pledging"?

i contemplated not raising my hand, afraid that he would make some horrible example out of us (the professors hated pledge week too, because people always fell asleep in class!)  but i was too tired to really think about it, so i sheepishly raised my hand with four or five others.  he asked us to move to one side of the classroom and i dreaded what would come next.  we moseyed over to the far right side of the room and awaited our judgment for being zombies in Jesus class.  then he read this:

"Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them."
 Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
     All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.
    The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night." (1 Kings19:1-8 NIV)

Elijah was afraid for his life and prayed that he would DIE.  and do you know what? God let him REST.  then eat.  then rest some more.  he then proclaimed, "sleep is spiritual!" and told the pledges to take a nap while the other students took a quiz and did other classwork.  i can honestly say that is the ONLY time i have ever slept in class!

an old pastor of mine used to say that when you're losing hope and up all night worried or sad, go to sleep!  you grace has run out for the day. when i am at the end of my rope, thank God my rope is not all there is to the story!  lamentations reminds us that because of the Lord's great love, we are NOT consumed and his compassions never fail.  in fact, they are renewed every morning.  he even promises us a peace that basically doesn't make any sense.

ALL that to say, even though a lot has gone on in the past few weeks, i am not consumed.  i was almost consumed it felt like (haha) but the sarge is going to training this weekend, gary is all moved out; i don't have to throw a tantrum. i can relax.

i can finally take a nap.

    

sleep is spiritual