at least i'm consistent.

it wouldn't be right if i didn't slack right until the end, right?!

What is something you need to forgive yourself for?

i was a pretty rotten teenager. i definitely feel guilty for all i put my parents through and not appreciating them; they were awesome. i seriously had some of the best and most patient parents in the world and i thought they were obnoxious and oppressive, and i all but told them so. now that i'm an adult, i regret the attitude i had (i don't think i so much said things to hurt them, but i'm sure my actions did). not only that, but i was kind of a failure right after high school. i know i put them through a lot of pain and they didn't deserve any of that. it amazes me how proud they are of me (mostly because i never understood how much they saw in me in the first place). i know i was just a kid, but i am having a hard time getting to a place where i can accept their forgiveness and love completely. it's undoubtedly comparable to our reaction to God. we have a hard time believing we can be forgiven and that we are loveable; and my parents are perfect earthly examples of this with me (and my brothers). i love 'em. 

What is something you need to stop blaming yourself for? 

overwhelmingly, the answer is the ending of my friendship with harry and larry. for a quick review, harry and larry, as i call them, and i were bff in high school. and (of course) due to my foolishness and the foolishness of our youth, we stopped being friends. both of us were immature and hateful. for the past 10 years or so, i've believed the things they've told me: i was one person with them and someone else with my "black" friends; i was selfish; i didn't know who i was; etc. (ad tedium). well, first of all, yes, i was "someone different" with my black friends. it's called shifting personas and EVERYONE does it. it's not being fake; i didn't believe differently or change my self...  it's part of the way we communicate effectively in each of our roles (sister, daughter, employee, boss, friend, customer, salesperson, etc.). but i didn't know that yet. and i didn't know that it is a skill and not a flaw. they really hurt me saying that, and obviously it stuck with me for years. and i was too boy crazy. but i am not the reason we stopped being friends. why have i hung on to this so long? sometimes i see them on facebook and i wonder what went wrong.. but seeing them today is like that darius rucker song: "Thank God for all I missed / Cause it led me here to this" !

Something you could never get tired of doing.

WELL... after the past two days (being essentially on total rest and not allowed to put weight on my knew), i'd have to say facebook stalking haha.. what? you know you do it too.

but seriously, being a wife! i love supporting my hubby and sharing life with him. everyday is such an adventure... sometimes they're fun adventures and sometimes they're less fun. but i love making him smile!

and that was cheesy, so i'll pick another one. reading books i love over and over. i could read the twilight series, the pursuit of God, the time traveler's wife, redeeming love, catch-22, and a few others for the rest of my life. in fact, i like books so much, it's hard to move on to a new one. i know that's ridiculous but it's true.

SO. tomorrow is the last day. wow.. i did slack right up til the end didn't i? well i have had a great time doing these topics; some of them took me to places i would rather not have gone but i think it was nice to have a little come to Jesus with myself. back to regular blogging soon (i'm sure everyone will be happy when i'm not blowing up their buzz anymore haha). happy monday!

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